KillBonez Make Debut

June 23rd Volfsball

A lovely summer’s day made all the lovelier with a game of Volfsball.

What does everyone like to see most on the Volfsball field? Fresh blood of course, not literally but a new team. It was time for North West London to be represented by the Killbonez, an ingenious pun on their Kilburn background. Made up of two members of the infamous Seldom Differ sketch group – Matt Skillington and Ryan Howes, and joined by Ben Target. Ben was a cast member in the Adam Riches play about Volfsball back in 2015.

Also it was with warm hearts that Volfsball welcomed back perennial cup finalists the Balham Choke Hazard, surely this season they would finally add something to their trophy cabinet.

Stonehewers vs Choke Hazard

The Stonehewers were reunited for their first appearance of the season, and they faced the Choke Hazard led by Thom Saunders, with the Blocktopus James Hunt. Lee Bannard, Marek Larwood and Hew Ingram subbed in while the Hazard waited for Mandy Saunders.

It was the Stonehewers early season practice that paid dividends in the first third. A promising defensive start by the Hazard in the second third was soon eclipsed by the Stonehewers offence led by Gregory Stanier as they jumped in to an 11-4 lead. It looked to be a one sided affair with the Stonehewers up 16-5 until a James Hunt Volfsball gave the Choke Hazard a ray of hope. Only for it to be snuffed out by the Stonehewers in a 17-10 win.

Killbonez vs Supermoons

It was time for the first ever game for the Kilbonez and they lined up against the World Champions. James Hunt subbing in alongside Larwood and Bannard. It was a tough day for a debut with them having to face the Supermoons, Choke Hazard and Stonehewers arguably the best teams over the last couple of seasons.

The Supermoons had a convincing start 6-0 up off the back of Bannard’s 100% shooting from the field with the Kilbonez still finding their feet. Bannard continued with his shooting form in the second third as Ben Target got the Killbonez on the board, 10-3 with a third to play.

The Supermoons were playing some super defensive Volfsball, all three players registering at least three blocks/interceptions and James Hunt registering a record breaking five offensive rebounds. But at 16-4 Ryan Howes hit a Volfsbsall for the Killbonez and there was all to play for. A three point kick from Larwood ended the Kilbonez dreams of an inaugural victory and it finished 19-9.

KIllbonez vs Stonehewers

It was time for the Killbonez to play the behemoth of the game the Stonehewers. The Killbonez scored a point early but porous defending let the Stonehewers rebound a lot of shots giving them a 7-1 lead.

Then the Stonehewers went into to overdrive, record rebounding from all of the Staniers saw them dominate the next third with a host of single points and jump into an 18-2 lead.

The domination continued in the final third Ben Stanier breaking the offensive rebound record with six, but Ryan Howes hit his second Volfsball in as many games for the Killbonez as they fell 7-24 to the Stonehewers.

Supermoons vs Stonehewers

The clash of the titans was the word from the sidelines, as the two squads who shared the trophies from last season met. Hew Ingram joining Larwood and Bannard in a depleted Moons line up. And it was the Moons that took the lead 4-3 in the first quarter, causing some infighting amongst the Stonehewers.

Ben Stanier took control of shooting for the Stonehewers and began to find his MVP form while Larwood and Bannard continued to add singles as the score was 8-8 with a third remaining.

However the classic relentless Stonehewer rebounding took hold in the last third and a Volfsball in the last ten seconds sealed another Stonehewer victory. 19-11.

Choke Hazard v Killbonez

The experienced defence of the Choke Hazard took charge in the first third, the Blocktopus James Hunt with three blocks and Thom Saunders with four as the height advantage transformed into a 4-2 lead.

At the start of the second third a barrage of Choke Hazard singles gave them control but just as the Choke Hazard got into a 10-3 lead Matt Skillington hit a Volfsball, it was 10-8 with three minutes left. Although the scoring on the day had the score at 9-8, and everyone knows the scoring on the day stands.

The Choke Hazard surged ahead again and looked good for the win, until remarkably Ben Target hit the fourth Volfsball of the day for the Killbonez and they had a 14-13 lead. Up 15-14 with fifteen seconds left the Killbonez squandered possession allowing Hunt to equalise with seconds left. It finished 15-15. A fair result given that scoring had doctored a point for the Hazard.

Choke Hazard vs London Nobodies

The Choke Hazard faced the London Nobodies, the team made up from a mix of players from different squads. James Hunt gave the Choke Hazard a perfect start with a Volfsball with his first shot and they led comfortably 7-2, with thirty seconds left until a remarkable set of shooting and rebounding from Alex Stanier gave him four straight single points, another single from Larwood and it was 7-7.

Another tight third meant it was 10-9 to the Choke Hazard in this entertaining game.

The final third saw more single pointers from Larwood as the Nobodies incredibly grasped their first ever win against Choke Hazard 15-12

Killbonez vs Nobodies

A strong Nobodies line up of the Stanier brother and Hew Ingram played the last game of the day against the Killbonez who had drafted in James Hunt. Profligate shooting from the Killbonez meant they only scored one point on the first third to the Nobodies 4.

The Killbonez were continuing their ‘Big Points’ philosophy and it paid off with Matt Skillington scoring his second Volfsball and the team’s fifth of the day, but they still trailed 9-8 with three minutes remaining.

However a Volfsball for Gregory Stanier put an end to the Killbonez dreams of that elusive first victory and the Nobodies won their second of the day 14-10.

Muswell Hill Supermoons11704185145625
londonnobodieslogoLondon Nobodies550010864815
Pitshanger Panthers640210685914
Choke Hazard Logo, Volfsball TeamBalham Choke Hazard721494107512
Stonehewers LogoStonehewers3300602819
Camden Kongs4202514348
Happy Friends4202315418
Crosstown Ballers4202516818
Tooting Tramsmashers5104526537
Harringay Choppers1001101511
FemGent Utd1001111701

Stonehewers 17 – 10 Choke Hazard

Kilbonez – 9 – 19 Supermoons

Killbonez 7 – 24 Stonehewers

Supermoons 11 – 19 Stonehewers

Choke Hazard 15 v 15 Killbonez (16-15 actual score)

Nobodies 15 – 12 Choke Hazard

Killbonez 10 vs 14 Nobodies