Bebington Flaming Fircones 10 v 17 Hoylake Red Rocks

Report by Rob Marland (West Wirral Snakehips – @WWSnakehips)

Fircones – Wareing, A Marland, Evo – sub Goldup

Red Rocks – R. Marland, P. Marland, Birss

The Hoylake Red Rocks went into the final match of the tournament as firm favourites, with two wins under their belts and a point difference from their previous two matches of +15. The Bebington Flaming Fircones, with only one win and a point difference of +7, would need to beat the Red Rocks by 9 points if they were to claim Der Goldene Volf 2015.

As the winter sun set over the cauldron of cold mud that was once a rugby pitch, the two teams put on a shooting masterclass. Almost every player was stroking aluminium. Even Mike Evo, who only that morning had been unable to walk due to a life-threatening ankle injury, was flying about the pitch like an angry gibbon, swatting Red Rocks’ shots into the long grass. It was possible he was a touch too enthusiastic as he chased a loose ball into the attacking zone, in violation of rules against defending players leaving the defensive roundel. His team captain, Wareing, argued against the infraction even though she knew full well that Evo was guilty as sin.

Andy Marland glanced a potential volfsball that could have tied things up at the half. As it was, the Red Rocks went into the third quarter leading 10-5.

The vociferous Wareing, unable to stand on the sidelines any longer, subbed herself back in at the start of the third. But by this point in the proceedings, all the players were feeling the fatigue. By the time Rob Marland dropped his second volfsball of the day, the spectators were surprised anyone was still able to throw a ball that high.

In the fourth quarter, with the Red Rocks leading 16-5, Wareing lost her rag as she spied glory slipping betwixt her mucky fingers. But this lady ain’t no quitter, and insisted on hurling herself face down in the mire for the chance at one more possession. The Flaming Fircones notched up a series of one-pointers; a kick from Andy Marland grazed the prism, earning the team in green another three points. Both Marland and Goldup launched multiple audacious doppelvolfsball attempts, but there was to be no repeat of Richard Morris’s fabled 10 pointer today. The Red Rocks went home with an unbeaten record and clutching the inaugural Der Goldene Volf trophy, which is only fair seeing as Rob paid for it.