The Legend of Volfsball Grows

Here’s the highlights video:

Ed from Bleacher Report UK films the glorious event

Word of the greatest sport in the world has spread, as acclaimed Sports Website Bleacher Report sent Ed, their number one camera man to cover the sport. This could well be the last week before millions swarm down upon the Volfsball field. In fact at several points during the day it felt like there were more cameras than people present.

Meanwhile it was a welcome return to the field for the Balham Choke Hazard, with special guest star Henning Wehn who promised to bring his beloved Rhein Ruhr Germinators down later in the season.

Balham Choke Hazard with added Henning

Supermoons vs Stonehewers

The undefeated Stonehewers took to the field facing a Supermoons team yet to win (thanks to a dodgy scoring system). Steve Bugeja making his debut for the Supermoons.

The well drilled Stonehewers surged into a 3-0 lead, but Larwood shooting more accurately than last week pulled the Moons back to 4-3.

Larwood donned the head go pro for the next two quarters for media footage for Bleacher Report.

The Stonehewers edged ahead 8-4 through Ben and Alex Stanier, but Moons clawed back it 8-6.

The Stonehewers were clinical in the last third 12-9 up with the Moons needing a Volfsball in the last second which they missed. Final score 12-9.

Prick with GoPro on Head

Waltham Forest Detectives vs Stonehewers

Everyone loves a new team and Johnny Chiodini brought the Waltham Forest Detectives along. Unfortunately it was only him, and the Choppers subbed in Paul Flannery and James Rowland to make up the numbers against the heavily fancied Stonehewers.

The Stonehewers were playing almost perfect Volfsball, Ben Stanier shooting six for six, as they led 8-4 at the first interval, with Flannery keeping the Detectives in the game.

Then in the second third everything changed, as 9-4 down Rowland hit his first ever Volfsball bringing the Detectives level. Flannery and Ben Stanier were still accurate for the respective teams and the second third ended delicately poised 11-11.

Then it was Flannery’s turn to smash in a Volfsball, and the unthinkable was about to happen, a brand new side taking the Stonehewers unbeaten crown. And it did happen, the Detectives victorious 18-13, with Flannery and Ben Stanier scoring an impressive 11 points for their respective teams.

Rules note – in future Volfsball meetings at least two members of the team will have to be present for a team to be recognised as present – otherwise any players can play for the London Nobodies.

Young love

Choke Hazard v Supermoons

It was the return of one of the pre-season favourites to the field, Balham Choke Hazard, Mandy and Thom Saunders playing in the resplendent yellow, and joined by special guest Henning Wehn still in his Germinators red shorts. Both teams had yet to win in 2017, the difference being Supermoons had played four games and the Hazard none.

The high scoring earlier in the day had vanished and both teams struggled with shooting. Larwood then hit a Volfsball and the Supermoons were up 6-1.

The Supermoons comfortable in their lead then began trying some audacious shots and failing and the second third ended 8-3.

The Choke Hazard continued to play great defence, Thom Saunders contributing seven blocks, but poor shooting let them down and the Moons were victorious 10-3.

Choppers vs Stonehewers

The top of the table clash. Choppers, the surprise package of the season facing the impressive Stonehewers. Earlier the Detectives (mostly Choppers) had handed the Stonehewers their first lost of the season, could it be repeated?

A tense first third saw the Stonehewers edge ahead 4-2. But a clinical second saw Ben Stanier repeatedly punish the Choppers with one pointers as they strode into an 11-3 lead.

Much the same story in the final third, as the Stonehewers played safe one point Volfsball (reminiscent of the Camden Kongs), the Choppers had no answer and lost 18-7.

Choppers v Stonehewers

Choke Hazard vs Stonehewers

An incredible start from the Choke Hazard as they scored three points – the same total as their previous entire game – in just 20 seconds to give them a 3-0 lead. An onslaught by the Stonehewers saw them 6-4 up, but two quick replies meant it was 6-6 at the first break.

The second third saw some great passages of play from both teams, the Stonehewers leading 8-6 then the Hazard rallying to score three quick points in one passage off play to lead 9-8, but an end of session defensive collapse saw the Stonehewers up 15-10 in this high scoring encounter. with Ben Stanier and Mandy Saunders both on fine form.

But the second quarter flurry proved crucial as the Stonehewers returned to winning ways with a 17-11 victory.

Detectives take on Stonehewers

Supermoons V Choppers

After being denied victory over the Choppers last week by the scorers error the Supermoons surged into a 3-0 lead.

The Choppers back to trail 4-5 in the second quarter, but remarkably the scorer again had this wildly wrong, saying the Choppers had a 6-5 lead. The second week in a row the Choppers were given phantom points yet again by questionable Stonehewers scoring.

Later in the game Steve Bugeja deflected a shot onto the post giving the Choppers a point, and in the next third Larwood deflected a Tom Hall shot into the Volfsball ring. Giving the opponents a further five. The Choppers victorious 10-7, six of the points actually coming from the Supermoons deflections.

*Rule note – if a ball is deflected for a score the points are statistically awarded to the player on offence who threw/kicked the ball – so on this occasion the Volfsball is awarded to Tom Hall.

Thom Saunders great defence

Choke Hazard V Choppers

Both sides started with some poor Volfsball, misses from all over the field, the first third ending with Hazards up 2-1. The second third was much the same with the Hazard playing great defence, Thom Saunders blocking everything with deep marking to give them a 4-3 lead.

The defensive display continued, Thom Saunders providing the blocks and Mandy Saunders the scoring as the Hazard won their first game, the Choppers shooting a woeful four out of twenty six shots. The Championship form seeming to have deserted them. Choppers 4 – 7 Choke Hazard.

Nice dog (Waltham Forest Detectives Mascot)

Detectives v Stonehewers

A rematch of the big upset of the day, but Ben Stanier had different plans with an almost perfect start to the game, four out of four shots for the Stonehewers, two of which were Volfsballs. A 12-0 lead within about a minute for the family squad. A tired looking Detectives team (mostly Choppers) had their shooting hangover from the previous match, until Rowland scored with his boot to make it 12-3 as the first third ended.

Everyone was tired apart from the Stonehewers. I am tired writing this, you are probably tired of reading this article about people you don’t even know scoring points in a game you may not understand. I doubt you have got this far. I reread it, and I found it boring too. Anyway back to it…

The second quarter began with some off the pitch distraction as Tom Bell ran around with the circle semi naked.This did little to inspire the Detectives as the second third ended 16-4.

The Stonehewers ascendency went unchecked as they emerged 22-5 victors, Ben Stanier amassing 16 points and seven blocks.



Supermoons   9  –  12   Stonehewers

Detectives       18 – 13  Stonehewers

Choke Hazard  3 – 10 Supermoons

Choppers          7 – 18  Stonehewers

Choke Hazard  11 – 17  Stonehewers

Supermoons    7  – 10  Choppers

Choke Hazard  7  – 4  Choppers

Detectives        5  – 22 Stonehewers

A great day for the Stonehewers as they surged up the table in what is looking like a two horse race for the title.

Stonehewers LogoStonehewers870112775322
Harringay Choppers new logoHarringay Choppers85038889318
Muswell Hill Supermoons6114677439
Choke Hazard Logo, Volfsball TeamBalham Choke Hazard3102213105
West Wirral Snakehips Logo
West Wirral Snakehips4013395615
Waltham Forest Detectives2101233524
londonnobodieslogoLondon Nobodies10014901