Weather Reporters Sabotage Volfsball

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Updated: May 22, 2016

Weirdo weather presenter Michael Fish in 1987

Volfsball was cancelled this weekend after Commissioner Larwood consulted several weather forecasts up until Friday indicating a strong chance of rain during the afternoon and heavy rain the night and morning before. The predicted rain never appeared.

The Commissioner said ‘This is bullshit, worse than when they wrongly predicted there wouldn’t be a hurricane back in 1987. I feel that BBC weather has robbed myself and hundreds (possibly tens) of people of a wonderful day of their life. Instead I have spent the day looking at people on facebook that I’m not even interested in Clicking Here. I have also found out that Gordon Kaye from Allo Allo wasn’t hurt in the 1987 hurricane, but the Burn’s Day storm of 1990, so that ruined the only joke I was going to put in this f**king article.”

He kept talking “During the week the forecast changed more often than a chameleon at a disco (this is an analogy an old person would make), so I opted for the safe option of cancelling it. This means it will now almost definitely rain on June 4th (day set for World Cup). I would encourage teams to let me know if they hope to attend the World Cup as soon as possible, and to bring beers for this global event. Also I would like to apologise for ruining the fun everyone could have had this Sunday.”

The Commissioner would like to remind interested parties that there are a glut of World Cup related products available in the Volfsball shop.

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