Toblerone Snubs Volfsball opportunity

(updated 7th December 2015)

In a terrible week for the sport, Toblerone missed up on the sponsorship chance of the decade by declining to sponsor Volfsball. A devastated league commissioner Marek Larwood said “this could have been the perfect partnership, the Volfsball prism is pretty much a giant Toblerone.” But it was not to be, as Mondelez International replied to an email in the following manner:

‘As you can imagine, we receive a large number of requests for funding and support and it is not possible for us to help in every case. Unfortunately we are not able to give you a positive response to your request and hope that a brief explanation of our approach may help explain our decision.

We seek to make a positive contribution to the communities in which we operate through cash, gifts in kind and employee volunteering. Grants are made through the Mondelēz International Foundation and our focus supports the encouragement of healthy lifestyles under the provision of growing food, nutrition education and physical activity.’

Hours after this story was posted news broke that Mondelez has avoided paying corporation tax in the UK for the last five years, tabling profits of £96.5m in 2014, via some weird channel island business. Not only that they’ve been making chocolate bars smaller. Read about it here. Commissioner Larwood said “I could tell by the tone of the email they were total arseholes.”

Things went from bad to worse, as any efforts to register with Sport England, seem thwarted by Volfsball needing to have a board and committee of two years of accounts as well as loads of other stuff. Commissioner Larwood said ‘It seems you need to exist as a rich sport with lots of money before you can be recognised as a rich sport. It all seems more exclusive than inclusive.’

Then Marek went on to promote the sport of BBC Radio Wales and lost one Volfsball follower on twitter as a result.

Marek on BBC Radio Wales

Meanwhile in happier news here is Choppers Captain Tom Bell receiving his new Choppers and Volfsball mug. If you would like to sponsor Volfsball please contact us on volfsball@gmail.com or perhaps get your own mug from our shop on the main page.

Tom Bell with mugs

Tom Bell with mugs

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