West Wirral Snakehips 15 – ­ 25 Crouch End Tigers

Report by Rob Marland

Both teams looked jaunty as they sought to accrue their third win of the day, but this was
always going to be an uphill slog for the Snakehips against the in ­form Tigers.

First third

Utley opened scoring for the Snakehips. The gangly knee­patient crouched before Richard
Morris, almost as if he were mocking the captain of the Crouch End Tigers for his crouch-
based team name, and unleashed a mighty volfsball. But the Tigers don’t look favourably on
those sort of shenanigans: seconds later Joe Nunnery equalised for the team in orange with
yet another effing volfsball.

Defensive play was strong throughout the third, with Utley blocking a Morris volfsball attempt
and Morris promptly returning the favour when Utley tried to pull off an audacious nutmeg
pearoller, normally a bread­and­butter shot for the bearded spaghetti­strand. Later, Mason
took advantage of his mismatch with the shorter Wareing to whang in two volfsballs, putting
the Tigers ahead 15­-7 at the close. The Snakehips sensed another mauling at the paws of
the Tigers was in their immediate future.

Second third

A solid defensive third, with big blocks all round. Both teams notched up one­pointers in a
period devoid of volfsballs but elevated by the Snakehips’ passing game, always a fan
favourite.

Third third

With the score standing at 17­-9, the Tigers were riding high as the game entered its final
phase. In one of the most spectacular plays of the day, Utley lunged to the turf in a failed
effort to block a one­pointer from Morris, but instantly redeemed himself by rolling over and
plucking up the ball before it rocketed out of the defensive circle. Moments later a penalty
was awarded to the Snakehips when Morris blocked a shot with his foot inside the no­go
area. Marland stepped up to take the penalty with hopes of bringing his team within striking
distance, but it was a rerun of that time the Queen Mother got a fishbone lodged in her
gullet, i.e. choke city. A total air­ball from the Snakehips captain.

A showtime pass from Morris whipped across the centre of the pitch to find the man with the
hot hand, Joe Nunnery. The result: another looping volfsball. The Snakehips refused to go
down without a fight, as Wareing hammered in a one­pointer that rebounded into the mitts of
Utley. Dropping to his knees, Utley powered home a pearoller between the shins of Nunnery.
Nunnery’s response was an absolute corker of a shot that went unremarked on the day:
Extraordinary Joe jumped as if to shoot for a volfsball in his familiar basketball style, before
changing his mind in midair and whipping off an underarm bullet. The unstoppable Tigers
marched to victory, 25­15, and the Snakehips looked happy to have come away with a point.