Crouch End Tigers 18 v 4 West Wirral Snakehips

Tigers 18 v 4 Snakehips

Report by Rob Marland

Crouch End Tigers vs West Wirral Snakehips

Tigers – Stronge, Hunt, Nunnery (subs Hart, T. Saunders)

Snakehips – Marland, Utley, Wareing

The Crouch End Tigers were without their captain, Richard Morris, but still fielded the tallest team in volfsball history as 6’5” James Hunt transferred in from the Choke Hazard. The Snakehips were visibly rattled as the game tipped off.

1st Third

The team from the north were right to shit themselves, as rookie Joe Nunnery lobbed in a 5 pointer on the first touch of his volfsball career. The Tigers capitalised on their early lead with a series of easy looping shots over the team in yellow. Utley’s trademark ground game, so successful during Der Goldene Volf, looked as stale as a week old scone. The Tigers led 9-2 at the close of the first.

2nd Third

In the second 3rd both teams were shooting like pissed-up Elmer Fudds. A total embarrassment to the game. The only highlight was provided by a pair of dogs with a taste for raw flour, who hoovered up at least 3 quids’ worth of pitch markings.

3rd Third

Into the final quarter and, with the Tigers leading 10-3, the Snakehips stepped up their defensive game. But Joe Nunnery cemented his man-of-the-match status with a powerful one-pointer and diving offensive rebound, driving the Snakehips to desperate volfsball attempts. With 15 seconds to play, Matt Stronge powered home a volfsball for the Tigers, rocketing his side to an 18-4 victory. The Snakehips tied the Germinators’ record for the fewest points scored in a game, an honour they will not be bragging about to their mums.