Choke Hazard ‘s non choke season?

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Updated: May 12, 2019

Despite poor weather predictions the clouds cleared to leave the field of the Gods soaked in sunshine ready for the day’s mighty warriors to battle in the greatest sport known to man.

It was time for the Balham Choke Hazard, thrice World Championship finalists, to make their season debut. Could this finally be the year to bring silverware to their cabinet?

Balham Choke Hazard v Woodfield Warriors

Alex and Ben Stanier were joined by Hew Ingram for the Warriors, with week one’s star player Gregory Stanier at home revising for his GCSEs. They faced one of the tallest line ups of all time with Tom Willshere joining the already towering squad of Thom and Ben Saunders and James ‘Bloctopus’ Hunt (who incidentally was sporting a Bloctopus T-shirt.)

But it was the same old story for the Choke Hazard, great defence but struggles offensively and the Warriors led 2-1, aided by fine work on both sides of the ball from Alex Stanier.

A Volfsball from Ben Stanier put the Warriors in control, but there were signs of the Choke Hazard finding their feet as the second third ended 8-3.

Late in the final third newcomer Tom Willshere hit a Volfsball out of nowhere. Suddenly it was all square at 10-10 with fifteen seconds to play. Hew Ingram hit a lovely looper over the towering defence only for James Hunt to equalise yet again with 0.5 seconds left. The Warriors missed their final shot an exciting 11-11 draw to start the days proceedings.

Moons vs Tramsmashers

Dom Herd joined the Moons on loan from the KilBonez for the day, and Alex Stanier subbed in. The Moons have struggled to field a squad this year in what could be a problematic season for the reigning league and World Champions. Rich Somerville led the way for the Tramsmashers, who were looking for their first win of the season. By the end of the first third they were 3-1 ahead.

The second third saw Larwood and Somerville taking the bulk of the shots for their teams and the second third ended with the Tramsmashers holding onto to a 6-5 lead. The game continued in this vein, and the Transmasher led by Somerville’s blocking earned a 9-7 victory.

Balham Choke Hazard vs Tramsmashers

The experience of Thom Saunders led the way in the first third as a lovely kick and single combo helped the Choke Hazard into a 5-2 lead.

Tom Willshere’s second Volfsball of the day looked to have given the Hazard daylight but Richard Somerville replied with one to make it 12-11 at the second third.

The Choke Hazard went into full block mode nullifying the Tramsmashers in the final third to give themselves a first victory of the season 15-11.

Moons vs Warriors

It was the perfect start to the game for the Moons, with a lovely passing move culminating in a Volfsball from loanee Dom Herd. 8-4 up with seconds to play they looked to be in control until danger man Ben Stanier hit a Volfsball to give the Warriors a 9-8 edge.

A lot of inaccuracy in the next third saw the Warriors maintain their slender lead 10-9.

The Moons tried to set up a kick play from Dom Herd to begin the final third, he missed but Larwood found the on loan Tom Willshire open with a cross field pass. Willshire stroked home the three point kick to give them a two point advantage. The Warriors could not reply and the Moons won 14-12.

Tramsmashers vs Warriors

Michael Hannon playing only his second game for the Tramsmashers started to find his feet early on, helping his team into a 4-1 lead over the more experienced Warriors.

It was starting to look like the Tramsmashers had themselves a handy team, great offensive rebounding from Jack Clayton couple with scoring from Rich Sommerville and Michael Hannon. They put themselves 10-5 up with a Volfsball from Hannon, only for Ben Stanier to reply as he so often does with the next shot, 10-10. Not to be outdone Hannon added to his impressive outing with a further Volfsball and the Smashers were up 15-10 with three minutes left.

The final third saw a monumental moment in the sport as Ben Stanier hit his 50th career Volfsball. An extraordinary achievement for the games best player over the past couple of seasons. Proceedings were stopped while he was rightfully awarded a chocolate medal. The game now tied 15-15. But Michael Hannon was in no mood to show any respect and he hit his third Volfsball of the game to put the Tramsmashers into the lead. The shellshocked Warriors had no answer and the Tramsmashers were victorious 21-16.

Moons vs Choke Hazard

A rematch of the last two World Championship finals saw the Choke Hazard adopt a new style of play – boring Volfsball. Towering above their opponents they opted for looping one point shots. It paid off as they stretched to a 8-1 lead.

The cynical Volfsball continued as the Moons attempted kicks and headers the Choke Hazard just shot one pointers to give them a 14-2 lead.

Ben Stanier scored a gorgeous volley to give the Moons three points at the start of the final third, but the Hazard kept up their one point shooting to win 18-6. In a game where the Moons and Volfsball were the losers.

Balham Choke Hazard v Tramsmashers

The two best teams of the day faced off for the final game. But the Tramsmashers seemed to have lost their scoring potency of early in the day as the vertical threat of the Choke Hazard gave them a 4-1 lead.

James ‘Blocktopus’ Hunt wearing his bespoke T-shirt hit a Volfsball and the Choke Hazard were dominating 12-1, threatening to keep the Tramsmashers to the lowest score in history. With 25 seconds left in the game te Tramsmashers managed two quick singles to avoid the unwanted record but still lost 15-3.

Balham Choke Hazard 11 v 11 Woodfield Warriors

Moons 7 v 9 Tramsmashers

Balham Choke Hazard 15 v 11 Tramsmashers

Moons 14 v 12 Warriors

Tramsmashers 21 v 16 Warriors

Moons 6 v 18 Balham Choke Hazard

Balham Choke Hazard 15 v 3 Tramsmashers

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