August Volfsball

August 17th Volfsball

After days of rain the sun emerged to dry the thick grass on the playing fields of Highgate, North London. Recent World Champions the Balham Choke Hazard were nowhere to be seen, the Supermoons could not muster enough players to form a squad and so it was a tremendous chance for World Championship runners up the Tooting Tramsmashers to seize a stranglehold on the league. They currently led on points difference over the Moons (but having just checked it, I realised I had miscalculated the points and the Moons should have 22 not 21 so they should have been second). Anyway, with none of the top four playing other than them this was their chance to open up a big lead in the table.

Tramsmashers v Stonehewers

Yes, that’s right, the name that has struck fear into opponents, the Stonehewers reformed for the day with the triple Stonier threat of Ben, Gregory and Alex facing up against Rich Somerville, Michael Hannon and Irena Arslanova. These line ups contained the leading four Volfsball scorers of the season so far, so the onlookers were set for HARD ACTION.

That’s what they got from one side as Ben Stanier’s 30th Volfsball of the season sent the Stonehewers into a 7-1 lead, while Tooting struggled with shooting. 

Into the second third and the Stonehewers crept into a 11-2 lead, before Rich Somerville hit a Volfsball, 11-7. But the Stonehewers extended their lead further helped by another Volfsball for the little tyke Gregory Stanier 17-7 with three minutes to play.

Rich Somerville got his second Volfsball of the game but it was not enough as the Stonehewers won 20-13. 

London Nobodies v Kilbonez

Next up Commissioner Larwood was forced to field a London Nobodies side as no other Moons turned up. The London Nobodies are a team anyone can play for, the rules state that at least two regular players for a side must be in attendance for games to be registered in the league. 

Larwood was joined by Volfsball scoring Goliath’s Ben Stanier and Rich Somerville, but it was the Kilbonez John Collins who scored a Volfsball with his first shot of the game as the Kilbonez cruised into a 7-1 lead. 

The next third was Volfsball crazy, Ben Stanier scored one with the first shot, then Somerville hit with the next Nobodies shot, and suddenly they were 11-7 up. Last years MVP Ryan Howes replied with a Volfsball for the Kilbonez only for Rich Somerville to score another Volfsball. Four in one third and the Nobodies led 18-13.

No more Volfsballs in the final third. The official scoring was way off having the match at 19-14, when it actually ended 20-17.

Tramsmashers v Kilbonez

The game in which each teams went almost exclusively for Volfsballs. It didn’t work out in the first third, but the Tramsmashers were up 3-2. Again incorrectly scored 3-1 in a poor day for officiating the scoring from one person who shall not be named but is 17 years old and plays for the Stonehewers.

John Collins was on fire after his rib injury and hit a nothing but net Volfsball. The Kilbonez were up a commanding 11-3, until a lovely five point rally from Irena Arslanova and Rich Somerville made it 11-8.

But the Tramsmashers could do no more and the continued search for Volfsballs was fruitless as the Kilbonez won only their third league game of the season comfortably 16-8.

London Nobodies v Stonehewers

A mix of players led by Commissioner Larwood faced the Stonehewers. The latter led 6-1 in the first third with the usual Stonehewer play.

Gregory Stanier continued to score singles, while John Collins added another Volfsball for the Nobodies as well as four blocks as they narrowed the gap to 9-7.

Ben Stanier added more singles for the Stonehewers in the final third and they ran out winners 14-10.

Tramsmashers v Nobodies

It was the Tramsmashers last chance to get a win and seize control of the table. Things were looking up as their new ‘go for single points’ tactics gave them a 4-1 lead. 

A succession of singles from Commissioner Larwood brought the Nobodies back to 7-6. Then the bald destroyer hit a Volfsball to put them up 11-7.

Another Volfsball from the on fire John Collins who hit his fourth of the day gave the Nobodies a 16-8 victory.

Kilbonez v Stonehewers

An organised Stonehewers squad started off strong, jumping into a 5-1 lead with a game focused on getting single points.

This continued into the next third, the Kilbonez tiring in the sun and looking short of ideas on offence as the Stonehewers stretched into an 8-2 lead. 

John Collins capped off an MVP style day with his fifth Volfsball in five games to give the Kilbonez fresh hope but Alex Stanier shortly replied with another Volfsball. This proved too much for the Kilbonez to overcome and they fell 19-8. Everyone was reminded what a potent force the Stonehewers are.

Top of the Table


It was a missed opportunity for the Tramsmashers as they only built a two point lead, and severely damaged their points difference. Elsewhere a win for the Kilbonez pushed them into contention as the league looks to be a five horse race with only a couple of weeks of game time before the end of season Larwood Invitational Cup.

A new foot Volfsball was trialed at the end of play with mixed results. 

All in all a great day for Volfsball, and a great day from John Collins whose performance must put him up there with the contenders for this years MVP.


Tramsmashers 13 v 20 Stonehewers

Nobodies 20 v 17 Kilbonez

Tramsmashers 8 v 16 Kilbonez

Nobodies 10 v 14 Stonehewers

Tramsmashers 8 v 16 Nobodies

Kilbonez 8 v 19 Stonehewers